Posted by on Aug 27, 2014 in Confusing, Old Testament | 25 comments

God, The Mob Boss - Awkward Bible

This illustration has been a long time in the making. I’ll never forget hearing this story in church for the first time when I was in college, shortly after becoming “born again.” At the time, I was also slightly obsessed with gangster movies – from the classics like The Godfather and Goodfellas to more modern takes on the genre like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs.

One theme you pick up on early is that if you want to really control a person that might be of use to you later, don’t threaten them personally, but go after their family. Don’t wanna pay the bribe? Your wife loses a finger. Do something to undermine a leader’s authority? Your baby mysteriously dies in his crib that night. You’ve been warned, “Do not f*** with ‘the family!” Of course, David takes his punishment and lives on, richly blessed by God for his obedience. The son God killed? What son?

Suddenly it hit me, God is the most intimidating mob boss out there. Isn’t it interesting how this same methodology has been passed down through the ages by the church? One generation after another? Just think about the Catholic Church for a moment. The hierarchy. The business structure. The corruption. The coercion. It is no mistake – they are just following in their Father’s footsteps, taking care of the family business.

QUESTION: What exactly did the baby do to deserve to die for someone else’s transgressions?

God, the original Godfather.

EASTER EGG: In the family portrait on the wall, the chair is not actually empty… (intentionally).

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Remember: Don’t blame us, it’s in the Bible!
We didn’t pull any punches by adding this illustration and commentary to:
Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible – Vol #2.


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