Posted by on Sep 19, 2015 in , | 1 comment

Baby Cannibalism In The Bible

Where’s The Baby?  There is a reason some Bible stories don’t appear in your average children’s Bible. Though, we don’t really recommend sharing the delightful Bible story above with junior. Now, before all of the armchair theologians scream about “context,” let me say:

– Yes, this city was under siege and suffering a famine.
– Yes, people were dying left and right anyway.
– No, the Bible doesn’t say whether or not the boys were already dead or how old they were.
– Yes, we’ve all been on a plane with a crying infant and wanted to…
– Why is there no mention of the women being punished for eating babies?
– No, none of that matters. I could never eat my own child.

However, to me the funniest part of this story continues after this passage. The poor king had finally HAD IT! He tears his clothes, walking around the city, screaming at God – basically, “WTF?!?!” To be fair, if my people were eating their children, I’d probably lose my sh*t as well.

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Remember: Don’t blame us, it’s in the Bible!
This illustration and commentary can be found in:
Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible – Volume #1.
Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children's Bible
Wait – The Bible Said What?!?

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