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Wait! God Hates Figs?
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Apr10

Wait! God Hates Figs?

Loves the fruit, hates the trees

“Jesus noticed a fig tree beside the road. He went over to see if there were any figs, but there were only leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” And immediately the fig tree withered up.” – Matthew 21:19 Little Freddy Phelps and his tribe over at...

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He Is Risen!
  • Bible History
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Apr06

He Is Risen!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

Happy Easter, Everybody!!! If you’ve been to church on Easter in the last 50 years, you’ve probably heard the pastor call out, “He Is Risen”, with the congregation expected to answer, “He Is Risen, Indeed!” I’ve always been a little uncomfortable with chanting anything in a monotone voice, as it reminds me of zombies walking the streets with their eyes rolled back in their heads. And, I’ll admit – this got me thinking about zombies… This illustration is dealing with two separate (but related) sections of scripture to illustrate the point! The guards shook for fear and became like...

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Biblical Bear Attack!
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  • Gross
Aug29

Biblical Bear Attack!

Be Nice To Bald Men Or "Bears" Will Eat You!

“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. On the way some boys came out of the city and made fun of him. They said to him, “Go up too, you baldhead! Go up too, you baldhead!” Elisha turned around, looked at them, and put a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two mother bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys to pieces.” – 2 Kings 2:23-24 Moral of the story – balding men are people too! Apparently, cranky people with little patience for hooligans and a direct line to God’s vigilante bear warriors. Word to the wise: You had better watch what you say about Howie Mandel from now...

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Rapture Hazards
  • Bible Myths
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  • Weird
Aug23

Rapture Hazards

Beware Of Flying Objects

I don’t have much else to say on this one, other than it gives me the opportunity to share my most-favoritist 90 seconds of television. Ever. (Taken from season 4 of “Six Feet...

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Chocolate or Poop?
  • Bizarre
  • Funny
  • Weird
Aug15

Chocolate or Poop?

We wish we didn't know!

“Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces!” (So sayeth the Lord!) – Malachi 2:2-3 “Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, to eat their own dung, and drink their own p*** with you?” – II Kings 18:27 I’m rarely...

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About The Author

What - are you crazy? Do you think I'm stupid? Consider me anonymous: He who shall not be named (or seen)... Though, if you want to send me a fruit basket or some money, sent it to info@funnybiblefacts.com.

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