Awkward Moments Children's Bible

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"Don't Blame Me, It's In The Bible!"

- Horus Gilgamesh, author

A Few Samples


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GOD COPS: New Motto Graces Police Cars

Posted on Jul 23 by

This week, Sheriff Doug Rader proudly announced that all law enforcement vehicles in Stone County, MO (just outside of Branson) would be adorned with the department’s new motto. Was it, “To Protect and to Serve“? Nah… Was it the nation’s original, simple, and unifying national motto, “E Pluribus Unum” – “out of many, one“? Nope. Instead, in 2015, the publicly elected Sheriff of Y’allqaeda took it upon himself to follow an example set by past theocrats, Eisenhower and Truman – to disregard the Establishment Clause of the U.S. Constitution in order to endorse and promote his particular religion by adorning the back of every gun-toting law enforcement vehicle in the county with “In God We Trust” – making it that much easier to remind non-Christian citizens to, “Respect my God-given authority or I will taser your heathen a**!” I think it’s important to point out that Rader refers to “In God We Trust” as “our National Motto” – but, who is the “our” in that sentence? According to the latest (enormous) Pew Research study on religion in the United...


Pastors On The Prowl – A Wake-Up Call For Christian Families

Posted on Jun 1 by

What do these fifty pastors have in common? They were all considered to be “men of God” by their congregations right until the moment police arrived and they made the local news in the month of May for horrific crimes against children – most of whom were members of their own churches. Many of the crimes took place on church property with several victims over the course of many years. OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: This post is not about making generalizations in order to shame an entire faith, but to raise awareness in an effort to protect children. However, this is a very sensitive subject that brings out strong emotions for many reasons. So, in an attempt to avoid the expected dismissive denial and distancing, I will begin by conceding all of the following – once; No, of course not all pastors are predators. Yes, a couple of these crimes were against handicapped adults, not kids. Yes, predators can be found in any population, but I think most would agree that pastors should be held to a much higher standard. And,...


Louisiana – A Proud Tradition Of Discrimination and Ignorance?

Posted on May 20 by

In case you missed it yesterday, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal issued an emergency executive order to overturn a landslide house committee vote of 10-2 against the state’s proposed “Louisiana Marriage and Conscience Act” (one of the right-wing’s latest “Right To Discriminate” laws). What’s the emergency, Governor? Are those pesky negroes riding buses again? Are the women folk trying to vote? Are non-Christians holding public meetings? Or, are two humans simply trying to [insert any action of daily commerce here]? According to Gov. Jindal, “In Louisiana, the state should not be able to take adverse action against a person for their belief in traditional marriage. That’s why I’m issuing an Executive Order to prevent the state from discriminating against people, charities and family-owned businesses with deeply held religious beliefs that marriage is between one man and one woman.” [Translation: “I’m issuing an Executive Order to protect and promote a Christian’s right to discriminate against homosexuals (or anyone else against whom they can use their religion to justify such bigotry).”] I will say, at least Bobby Jindal is being Biblical in...


Empty Pews: Record-Breaking Decline Of Christianity In The U.S.

Posted on May 12 by

The Pew Research Center has released the results from their latest extensive survey of over 35,000 adults and America’s Changing Religious Landscape is not looking good for Christianity. When compared to the previous landmark study seven years ago, the number of Americans who self-identify as Christian dropped a significant 8 points, from 78.4 percent to 70.6 percent – the lowest saturation of Christianity in U.S. history. Conversely, those who consider themselves to be “unaffiliated” (atheist, agnostic, or “nothing in particular) saw a considerable rise from 16.1 percent to 22.8 percent – a 41% increase since the last study! Why the drop in Christianity? The survey itself is just raw data and I could write a book of my own speculations about the information age combined with social media, but the New York Times suggests, “…the low levels of Christian affiliation among the young, well educated and affluent are consistent with prevailing theories for the rise of the unaffiliated, like the politicization of religion by American conservatives, a broader disengagement from all traditional institutions and labels, the combination of delayed...


Governors Proclaim Day of Reason (in direct contrast to National Day Of Prayer)

Posted on May 7 by

I would like to personally congratulate Governor Pete Ricketts of Nebraska and Governor Jack Markell of Delaware for proclaiming today, May 7, 2015 as their state’s official Day of Reason! I would also like to recognize United States Representative Mike Honda (CA-17) who introduced U.S. House Resolution 228, the very first National Day of Reason resolution to ever be brought before Congress! These actions send quite a strong message – in direct contrast to the religious grandstanding of the federally mandated National Day of Prayer established into law by born-again Christians back in 1952. Well done, Governors and the National Day of Reason​ campaign! I’ll admit, these actions literally brought a tear to my eye and truly give me hope – one state, one politician at a time who are willing to recognize the sizable (and growing) population of those who depend on reason rather than prayer. With deep appreciation – your friend in reason, Horus Gilgamesh P.S. Yes, it gives me the giggles that Nebraska’s proclamation still carries the phrase “in the year of our Lord…” Baby steps,...


When “Obscene Pornography” Proves An Awkwardly Obvious Point (about “Religious Freedom” in Public Schools)

Posted on Apr 23 by

[WARNING: NOT SATIRE] It has been an interesting couple of days – angry parents, principals, police, media, threats of lawsuits and physical violence. Over what, you might ask? Toward the end of this post, I will finally reveal the uncensored illustration of a Bible story that has been deemed by some to be “obscene pornography.” But first, a little back story and some context… A couple of weeks ago, a third grade public school teacher handed out Gideon Bibles to her students in class which caused a bit of an uproar that eventually compelled the state’s Attorney General to issue an official letter in support of Bible distribution on public school grounds. The letter to superintendents began with some interesting rhetoric, “Few things are as sacred and as fundamental to Oklahomans as the constitutional rights of free speech and the free exercise of religion. It is a challenging time in our country for those who believe in religious liberty. Our religious freedoms are under constant attack… I am therefore writing to make it clear that it is in fact...